What I have found most helpful is talking to other moms who have personally experienced having a kiddos with reflux. So I thought I would share my experience thus far in hopes that it helps others in the future.
What It's Like
Before Adelyn was born, I remember hearing some moms talk about how horrible acid reflux is. Honestly, I thought they were exaggerating and needed to toughen up a little. Could it be that bad? There are such worse things a baby could have! While that is true, I now have a lot more compassion for moms whose babies struggle with this. It sucks. It's hard. It's heartbreaking. It's frustrating. You feel more helpless than ever and powerless to make it better. It puts your baby in a bad mood. They can't easily soothe themselves or settle down. They don't nap long. They wake up at night frequently. They cry cry cry when eating. You don't want to feed them in public because of the crying. They eat less so they want to eat more frequently which only flares up the reflux more. It's stressful to leave them with someone else but it's absolutely exhausting to be with them 24/7. You feel like you provide no comfort but know that you are all they have. It's easy to grow apathetic towards the crying. It messes up any type of routine you are trying to establish. It makes you wonder if they are hungry or just in a bad mood. It just sucks.
Medication
We were initially put on Zantac. We had to squirt this liquid into Adelyn's mouth 3 times a day. Luckily, she didn't mind the taste so she usually complied. They told us Zantac could take up to 7-10 days to see results. So we had to buckle down and get through that week in hopes that the medicine would kick in. Her symptoms seemed to get a little better but she was still very bothered by the reflux. After 9 days of Zantac, we moved Adelyn to Prevacid. We have to split a capsule in half and give it to her in the morning and evening. These expensive little pills are tricky. You have to dissolved them in water, suction them up in a syringe, and then squirt it in the mouth. Some of the dissolved tablet remains in the syringe so I usually a second shot of water to get it all out. We were told to give it to her before meals so we did this for a few days seeing little results. After doing some online research, I learned that the medicine is much more effective if given 30+ min prior to a meal. Since we started doing this, we have seen better results. In fact, today was the first day in over a month that Adelyn didn't cry at all while feeding!! In addition to that, she slept from 10:30-6:45 last night (a first!). So I think we are moving in the right direction.
Tips on Coping
- Elevate 30 minutes after eating. Even though we aren't sure if this makes a difference, everything I read tells us to keep her elevated. I often put her in her bouncy seat or prop her up on a boppy pillow to hang out for a while after she's chowed down.
- Elevate the crib. Again, who knows if this helps but we've stacked some text books under one end of the crib to give it a tilt. She ends up towards the other end of it by the end of a night but at least her esophagus isn't being burned.
- Bottle Feed (with breast milk). This actually goes against online advice but we've found bottles work better to get more ounces in her. In fact, Adelyn hardly ever eats straight from me anymore. Often times when I try, she instantly goes into a fit and won't latch on. So (not really by choice) we've moved to a lot of bottle feeding. I've been getting my money's worth out of my pump! I've also read that formula can actually make reflux worse so I'm pretty motivated to keep on pumping as long as I can.
- Use the pacifier. To get her calmed down during eating, we often gave her the pacifier so she could soothe herself a little. After she calmed down, we'd do a quick switch-a-roo to the bottle and she'd be more likely to take it.
- Swaddle while feeding. For some reason, this really worked with Adelyn. She'll be super wound up until we swaddle her up and try again and she'll sometimes take the bottle after that.
- Distraction is the key! Again, since we bottle feed a lot we are able to walk around, go outside, stand under the fan, move room to room, etc. Anything we could find to take her mind off of her pain helped her to gulp down a bit more. I also would make up songs to sing, pray out loud with her, or just talk about anything.
- Take a break. Often times we found that Adelyn would take two ounces or so and then be thrown into her crying fit. At first we tried to push through and continue feeding. What we've found more helpful is to stop as soon as she starts to get upset and take a 5-10 minute break. She was a lot more likely to finish her bottle after she's had time to take a breather. This can be frustrating though because it seems like feeding takes forever!
- Have others feed the baby. This was more for my emotional stability than anything. It helped so much to not have to go through it over and over again. When possible, I'd have Austin feed her or anyone else who was willing. In fact at a baby shower when I was having a hard time and was to the point of tears with her in the back room, I flagged my friend Sara down and had her take over while I emotionally recovered. Having someone else take over who isn't worn down and hasn't been stripped of their patience is key.
- Hold the schedule loosely (but still hold it!). Austin and I love structure. We've had this gal on a 3 hour feeding schedule since day one. She adapted to it quite easily actually so when the reflux hit and she was wanting to eat every 2-2.5 hours we were thrown off a bit. Her sleeping and naps went all wacky too. We initially resisted the change but eventually realized we needed to adapt to what the little lady was telling us. It's been good for us to let go of our expectations and hold everything loosely. At the same time, we haven't completely quit trying. I think it's important to not let reflux be an excuse for everything. We are still working on establishing a routine, taking good naps, self-soothing, independent play, etc. We're just more graceful in the learning process of all these things.
- Take one feeding at a time. There would be mornings where I would wake up and dread the day. However, when I took one feeding at a time, it made it seem more doable.
- Find scripture and pray pray pray. I often pray out loud or sing worship songs when feeding her. I also quote scripture that helps me. Here are some verse suggestions that have helped me a lot: Isaiah 43:1-2, Romans 12:11-13, Phil 4:4, Isaiah 40:10-12, 2 Cor 4:17, 2 Cor 9:8, 2 Tim 1:7.
- Document. This sounds weird and slightly anal but it helps me a lot to write down how each feeding went. That way I can remind myself when she did have good feedings as opposed to just remembering the bad ones. I write down the time she ate and either put a smiley face next to it or a check mark if it went bad. Looking at my notes, I can see that the past few days have gone a lot better! It's also good to have objective facts to talk to the doctor about if needed.
Gosh, I just wrote a lot. Hopefully you'll never have to reference this blog post but in case you do, I hope it helps. I've found that mom's who have had reflux babies are so compassionate towards other moms who do. I feel the same way so please feel free to contact me if you have any questions about all of this.
Like I said, I think we are only in the beginning of this so I'm no expert. I can only tell you what has worked for us and our sweet girl. Hopefully we keep moving towards healing and pain free feedings!
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