"Mine"

I saw a new side of Adelyn today. We've seen hints of it on the horizon but now we are fully emerged in a new stage. Her favorite new word is, "Mine."

The "mine" is delivered sharply, loudly, and authoritatively.

Oh goodness.

While this had proven to harmless thus far, this "everything I see is mine" attitude did not go well with our little play date with her BFF, Eleanor.

From the moment Eleanor came onto Adelyn's turf, Adelyn declared war. It was very much a one-sided battle, however. Eleanor seemed to be confused by this new Adelyn she was encountering. Every toy Eleanor went to play with, Adelyn would intervene declaring possession.

The first 30 minutes that Eleanor was at our house, Adelyn was in timeout four times. Both Eleanor and I were wondering where the fun-loving Adelyn had gone and how a smeagol version replaced her so quickly.

After a lot of intervention and some quality time in time out, Adelyn finally chilled out and was able to play a little better. They had a great lunch together as you can see below.

They did great coloring together until Adelyn decided she had seen enough of her crayons get used and cut off Eleanor's supply in a rather creative way. I was laughing too hard at this gesture to reprimand it.

It's not fun to see the dark side of your child. You want to believe the best about them and not think of them as the trouble maker. It's easy to make excuses for her but the reality is we have a strong willed, slightly dramatic toddler with lots of opinions on how the world should work. I'm thankful for a daughter with personality and heart but am also learning that parenting this type of child is going to be a long, hard process. Lord help us when she turns 13!

Hopefully we can navigate these hostile waters quickly and be done with this stage before she loses too many friends. Hang in there Eleanor!

Memorial Day Weekend

We had such a great Memorial weekend. It started off with a day in St. Louis. We got the whole family on the road by 6:45 a.m. and headed straight to the zoo. Since Adelyn is totally in an animal loving stage we knew she would be in heaven. She loved it. 

She was particularly facinated by the choo-choo train. 

It was so fun to show her new animals and to see her reaction. We were almost as excited to see her reaction as she was to see the animals she had only seen in books or on TV.  The weather was perfect too. 

Tyler was a champ through the traveling. He slept the whole way there and pretty much snoozed through our time at the zoo. 

Here we got a close look at some "Elphonas" as Adelyn calls them.

A highlight of the day was a carousel ride with Grandma Liz. She of course chose to rise the "Roar" (lion). 

After the zoo we grabbed lunch with the grandparents (Paul and Liz) and headed to my friend Carly's house. It was such a great way to spend the afternoon and evening. Not only were there loads of kids around to play with but I got to hang out with some of my best friends. It is so refreshing to be around friends who have known you for years and years. There was no agenda except to simply hang out and catch up.

It was fun to see our kids interact and get to know each other. Little personalities were very apparent.

This picture just captures a glimpse of what the day looked like.

Ty-Guy just chillin.

Peyton and Reece. They are such sweet little girls.

 Goofy Dada and Adelyn eating pizza.

This picture was quite the task to capture. It might have involved some bribery of brownies in order to get them to sit still.

Here are the ladies of The Council. Sara was dearly missed at this gathering. 50% of the ladies in this picture are pregnant too. Can you guess who? Hint: Not me.

Oh how I love this picture! Pretty soon all the kiddos aren't going to fit into one picture.

Adelyn and Everett attempting to share the car. Yeah, that didn't go so well. At least Adelyn wasn't all that good at sharing. Guess that happens when she's been an only child for almost two years. You can see the territorial look in her eye.

Here is the Meyer clan. Soon to be a clan of four!

We returned home that night exhausted but happy with how fun the day was.
Uncle Will came in to visit on Monday. Adelyn loves Uncle "Whoa." He plays a great game of hide and seek and pretty much gets bossed around and is fine with it.

So overall, the weekend was great. I'm excited that summer is finally here!

Thankful

I can't believe it's almost been a month since Tyler joined our family. I don't know if it's flown by or if it seems like he's always been here. 

I don't know if Tyler is an easier baby or if I am just less stressed but I can safely say that round two has been SO much easier. Even enjoyable. Yes, there are moments in the middle of the night that I'd rather be sleeping than getting up to replace a pacifier back in an unhappy infant's mouth. And yes, there have been moments that both kids are crying at the same time and I'm not sure whose needs to address first. There have been moments of stress for sure but I just feel different this time around. 

Let me brag on my little buddy some: this guy is a pretty good sleeper at night. He wakes up to eat every 2.5-3 hours but (knock on wood) goes right back to sleep. He commonly passes out mid-feeding and almost always goes into milk coma after eating. He just loves to eat. We have been calling him our little hog lately because of how frequently he wants to chow down. He cracks us up with his hilarious newborn faces. When he smiles it absolutely makes my day. He's not crazy about his carseat but once he gets his initial fuss out he usually just chills out. I think our prayers for a "chill baby boy" are being answered. 

Adelyn is still doing great with him. She loves to give him kisses before she goes down for a nap or for bed. She has replaced her sympathy crying with an "Uh oh, baby... uh oh, baby...!" She asks to hold him but usually only wants him is her arms for 5-10 seconds before she is shoving him off and ready to play with a toy. 

Speaking of toys- this girl is obsessed with animals right now. It's all she talks about. She wants to play with her toy animals. She requests animal shows. The first thing she says when she wakes up is, "Animals?" We are making a trip to the St. Louis zoo a priority in the next few weeks. Her world will explode! She is talking like crazy and cracks us up with what she says. She also might have tried to nurse her toy lion the other day. That one gave us a good laugh. 

It slowly feels like life is resuming a normal pace. Austin is done with seminary for about a month so he's been around a lot more which has been GREAT. We are also blessed by all the meals and favors people have done for us recently. I've run a few errands with the two and it went fine but it's a lot of work! 

Not sure how to wrap this up. I guess I'm just thankful right now. For a lot. 

See Any Resemblance?

One Week Old!

One week ago at this moment, I was in a hospital bed, fully dilated and gearing up for one of the most memorable experiences of my life. I look back on my labor with joy. I really do. It was uncomfortable night, painful at times, but after it was all done, I know it will be a night and morning I will never forget. I can't believe it's already been a week.

There is so much I want to remember from this week that I know I'll forget if I don't write it down. So in an effort to have something to look back on and remind me what the first week was like, here is a rundown.

It was great to come home with our little man. The first thing the four of us did together was take a nap. Seriously. All four of us were asleep at the same time. Wonder how many times that will actually happen.

The first night home was a little rough. Tyler was up every 2 hours wanting to eat. By 2:30 I was fearful about the type of child Tyler was going to be. Every two hours?? Oh goodness. We also discovered quickly that he didn't like his crib. When we moved him to the swing, he slept 3 straight hours. Needless to say, he's been sleeping in the swing since.

We've had lots of family in town since we came home. This has been a huge help.

Big sister is doing great. She loves to help by getting Tyler his blanket and giving him his pacifier (even when he may not want it). Since we've had lots of family in town, Tyler hasn't been a threat to the amount of attention she gets so she hasn't acted up as much as we thought she would. I'm also so thankful that he was born in the Spring because now Adelyn can play outside and burn some energy with the dogs in the backyard. 

Here is a sweet video of Adelyn holding Tyler:

She's also spent some time down at "Nanakuk" (my parent's house). So it's safe to say Adelyn has had a great week. One thing I didn't expect was how hard it would be for me to let others take care of her so much. I know it's probably actually good for her but it's strange to feel out of sync with your kiddo. I'm just trying to take it in stride and know this is part of having a newborn. I'm sure we'll get back in our groove soon. I am so so so appreciative of the help of our family this first week though. Especially on the days I didn't get much sleep the night before.

I'm still getting used to having a little boy. First of all, diaper changes has been humorous at times. I've learned from my mistakes to make sure to cover up his little man parts when changing him. We've had to do a bit more laundry due to my forgetfulness to do this. :)

He, like Adelyn, loves his paci. This is a blessing and a curse to parents. It's a blessing because there is an easy way to soothe him and calm him down. It's a curse because it falls out at night and he wants it back. Luckily he has the ability to keep it in until he is fast asleep. However, it can be problematic if he's not all that tired but fussy enough to want it. 

Yesterday, he and I took a little nap together on my bed. (Don't worry mom, he was set up in a way where I wouldn't roll over on him). When we woke up and I picked him up, I found a little surprise that he left me. (See below). Guess the diaper wasn't on tight enough. Whoops. 

I've had a few rounds of unexplainable sadness. I know from experience that it is a result of the crazy amount of hormones going through my body right now. However, I feel like the blues aren't nearly as bad as they were with Adelyn. I almost laugh at myself because I'm crying about absolutely nothing. Just need about one good cry a day and I'm good to go.

Overall, things are really good. I feel good physically and emotionally. I feel like Tyler is showing signs of being a little more chill than Adelyn was at this stage too. Knock on wood!

Lastly, I started this blog at 8:15 this morning and it's already 10 a.m. It's hard to get much done at this stage!

Tyler's Birth Story: The Long Version

He's here!

Tyler William decided to join our family exactly a week early. We couldn't be happier with how it all happened. 

Let me set the scene.

Two years ago I had a c-section because of an issue with my daughter's umbilical cord. Because the issue had nothing to do with my body, I was a good candidate for a "trial of labor" (having a vbac after having a c-section). 

I wanted to give it a shot. Once you've had a c-section, however, you cannot be induced and the use of pitocin is very minimal. I needed to go into labor completely on my own if this was going to happen.

Monday morning I go in for my 39 week appointment to find out that I am not dilated at all and the baby was still sitting way up high. Our doctor told us labor wasn't totally out of the picture but we should probably count on the scheduled c-section on the 30th. While I was pretty bummed, I was able to embrace the fact that I was probably going to have a c-section and start planning for that. 

Monday afternoon I got to work to line up the help we would need post-c-section. Austin went to work on telling his seminary professors and such as well.

That night, I was laying on the couch and felt a little flush of water come out. Huh. I had just gone to the bathroom so it was highly unlikely that this was an accident. However, that isn't totally unheard of. If you've ever been 39+ weeks pregnant, you know what I'm talking about. :)

Well, then it happened again. While I was just laying there. No laughing, no sneezing, but something was going on down there. I got up, went to the bathroom just to make sure I wasn't crazy. On my way back to the couch was another gush. This time was more substantial. My water had broken. 

I tell Austin what happened and we start gathering our stuff up, calling our on-call babysitter (thanks MacKenzie!) and get ready to head out the door. 

We get to the hospital around 9:30 p.m., are wheeled up to labor and delivery and get settled in. Austin and I were in good spirits, joking around with the nurses, and trying to predict what would happen in the coming hours. 

We came to learn that I was not even dilated to a one. Uh Oh. 

Once your water breaks, you only have a certain amount of time to go into active labor before your body is at risk of infection. Since I couldn't have pitocin, my body was going to need to do A LOT of work pretty quickly if this was going to happen the way we wanted to. 

I wasn't even really having contractions at this point but because of my previous c-section, I had to be monitored which limited my movement to standing in place or bouncing around on this big birthing ball. 

Eventually some contractions started kicking in and around one in the morning they were getting ugly. I was REALLY starting to hurt but was very bummed to find out that I was only dilated at a one at that point. 

The next hour, the contractions continued to pick up in intensity. Big time. The idea of an epidural was pretty inviting at this point but I was only dilated at a ONE. I mean, I can't be that girl who gets an epidural at one, right? 

My doctor was super supportive of whatever we decided. She pointed out that I was really fighting the contractions and having an epidural might actually relax me in order to help me dilate. That's all I needed to hear. I waved the white towel and called for the anesthesiologist. 

I think I heard music from the heavens as it started to kick in. 

However, what was unfortunate was that the epidural was very much favoring one side of my body. My right side was almost completely numb but my left side was totally moveable. I could even feel the contractions on my left side but not my right. Because not all of the pain was alleviated, sleep was not an option. 

They checked me again around 3 am and I was only at 2 cm. At this point I was starting to think my body wasn't going to cooperate. Only 2 cm after 6 hours of intense contractions? It was deflating. 

However, after another check at 5 am, they told me I was at 6 cm! AND that the baby had come WAY down. She said she could pretty much touch his head at that point. What? How the heck did that happen??

At around 7 am I was pretty much at 9 cm with contractions every 2-5 minutes. It was happening!

At around 8 am my body was gearing me up to push. Even though they were wanting to wait until one last part of the cervix to thin out, my body was itching to go. I felt like I had restless leg syndrom and just felt so much pressure and the desire to push. Finally, around 8:45 my doctor was ready to rock and roll. 

It took a while to get the method of pushing down but once I got the breathing right, progress was made really fast. Austin was a great coach for me and had to keep reminding me (based on the doctors instructions) to not tense my face so much but put all my energy into down low. 

After about an hour of pushing, he worked his way half way out but not all of the way. This was the most uncomfortable thing I  have ever felt! We had to sit there and wait two minutes until another contraction came in order to get him all of the way out. 

Finally it did, I pushed and felt an indescribable feeling. It was so much pressure but then a huge drop in my stomach and then instant relief. We heard a little baby wailing and they immediately laid him on me. He wailed and wailed for probably 5 minutes straight until we could calm him down. 

It was awesome. It was beautiful. It was so satisfying and freeing! 

I could hardly wrap my head around the fact that this baby was just in me and now he's here! 

Tyler William weighed 7.3 ounces and was 19.5 inches tall. He has a thick set of black hair and long gangly fingers and toes. We love him to death already. 

Can you see the tiredness in my eyes?? Haha. 

After things settled down, we had a few family members come in and meet the little guy. Later that afternoon, Adelyn got to meet her new baby brother. 

She was interested in him for about 10 seconds and then moved on to bigger a better things like the moveable bed and glider in the room. She has no clue how much this little guy is about to rock her world and change her life. 

I can't believe it happened the way it did. Neither could nurses. They kept saying how amazing it was that I progressed so much so quickly and how stress-free the delivery was. I wanted to tell them it was probably because we had so many people praying for this little guy and his entrance into the world. I'm serious. After it was all over, I had to stop and acknowledge that everything that just happened was an act of God in response to the prayers of friends. 

The day was great with Tyler. He is eating well, loves to be swaddled and snuggled up, has curious eyes and just melts our hearts. 

We love him to death already. 

I'd love to write more but its 10 p.m. and I'm itching for sleep. Nighty night!

Spooking Around and Trusting God

It's 4:35 a.m. in the morning. I am "spooking around" as we affectionately call my middle of the night wakeful times. They are more and more common these past few weeks as my due date draws closer and closer. Eight days away to be exact.

The Conners are definitely in a "trust God's timing" season.

A little over a week ago, Austin came home from playing basketball with a sprained ankle. We didn't think it was too bad because he could walk on it and such. However, it got progressively worse to the point where he couldn't walk on it any more. He is currently on crutches, pain killers, and waiting for an appointment with an ankle specialist. Awesome.

My mind is racing with all of the unknown possibilities that the next week may hold for us.

Ideal situation:
I go into labor a few days before due date and have a normal, vbac birth. Hopefully by then his ankle is healed enough to be off crutches and if not, I'm not all that immobile and helpless. Things will be crazy but not that bad.

Worst Case Scenario:
I go into labor in the next few days and for some reason have to have another c-section. This would be bad because 1) Austin will still likely be on crutches and not healed up enough to help much. 2) I will be in pain and in need of a lot of help for at least a week. How the heck would we wrangle a toddler and a newborn if we are both couched? Even if I make it all he way to my due date and have to have a c-section on the 30th, will we be ready??

It's funny how all along I've been itching to not be pregnant but in the past few days I've realized that we need this baby to sit tight for as long as possible. While I don't enjoy the physical discomfort of these last few weeks and long nights, I'm willing to endure a little longer if that means it gives Austin some time to heal up. We'd be a house of chaos and much need for a while if not.

Yes, we do have VERY supportive families who are more than willing to help but they all have full time jobs and live in different cities. We can't expect them to drop their lives and responsibilities for all that long to help us. So you can probably understand why this pregnant woman is up fretting over the possibilites of this coming week. So many combinations of the above scenarios could happen and I can't quite plan ahead without knowing what the future holds.

I've had to really practice "talking to myself rather than listening to myself." I have to remind myself that God is in control. He really is. He knows the exact day and way that Tyler will enter this world and his plan is GOOD. His plan has a purpose. It may not be ideal for us but it is what he has written into our story and I want to trust that whatever it may look like, he will give us what we need to get through the day.

He loves us. He loves me. He loves Austin. He loves Adelyn. He loves Tyler. Everything he does is out of love and sometimes his ways aren't completely understandable but we can trust his fatherly heart towards us and know whatever this week may look like, it is done out of a heart of love.

The unknowns are so hard for me. However, they keep me leaning into his promises and forcing me to remind myself of his goodness. I'm guessing that is part of his agenda in all of this. So for now, we wait. We wait to see HIS plan unfold for the Conner family. All I can do is sit tight, wait, and keep praying for a heart that really means it when I say, "Thy will be done."