Ambition

Am-bi-tion
noun
A strong desire to do or achieve something, typically requiring achievement or hard work

I am craving a project. I'm craving to get my hands dirty and do something new. There are so many hobbies I want to get better at. And for some reason, I feel like I need to do them all right now. I think what started it was this amazing website called Young House Love. (younghouselove.com). It's about a couple who bought a 50 year old house and have made it their project to renovate it by themselves. It made me want to do home projects. My mental to-do list is running wild. It ranges from repainting a stool I bought a garage sale to knocking a hole in our bedroom wall and creating a second closet.

Another area I want to embark in is sewing. I want to make curtains, pillows, blankets, quilts, and other projects. I've always wanted to do this but for some reason right now it is bursting out of me.

Another hobby: cooking. As I was bobbing up and down on the elliptical machine today, I became fascinated with the Rachel Rae show. I want to know how to use spices, oils, seasonings, herbs, and more. I just wish I knew how!

Another one: Gardening. I can't wait till Spring. My dad has said he is going to help me start a garden in our back yard. I have no clue how to even start but I can't wait to reap the benefits. I just want to go outside right now and start.

I'm just feeling ambitious! Maybe I've been cooped up inside too long. Maybe God is slowly turning me into a house wife. Maybe I'm simply wanting to feel productive. Whatever it is, it's about to burst inside of me if I don't get going on something. Stay tuned for future projects.

Quote of The Day

(Granny was upset with my Aunt Josie for not coming to see her recently. Her response to Josie's name...)

"That old fart! Next time you see her tell her I'm dead."

We are still laughing at that. And also the fact that granny was gravely disappointed in Austin and I for me not being pregnant. It's impossible to please the woman.

We need fellowship with others to be alone safely.
We need solitude to be with others meaningfully.

"Awe Fiddle"

Last night we celebrated Christmas with Austin's mom and grandparents. After opening presents and stuffing ourselves with a huge meal, we settled in to a game of Rummy.


What Austin and I discovered was that people not in our generation possess a hidden language reserved for expression during games like Rummy. We were unable to comprehend the meaning of most of the words that came out of his mother and grandmother's mouths. When we realized they were talking in gibberish, we decided to record some of the expressions for future translation. Here's the list:

• "Fiddle-do-dee"
• "Oohey Louie"
• "Dear Gussy George"
• "Oh my gracious-sakes-alive"
• "Puddy!"
• "Omanomanoman"
• "Poo"
• "Oh for Pete's sake"
• "That's not.. hoopty-doo"
• "Fiddle, fiddle, fiddle"

There were many more of these words that were said before we began recording. We hope to one day understand the meaning of these words and possibly implement them in our future card games.

Joy

"Joy"
Puritan Prayers and Devotions

Let my heart leap towards the eternal sabbath,
where the work of redemption, sanctification, preservation, glorification is finished and perfected for ever,where thou wilt rejoice over me with joy.

There is no joy like the joy of heaven,
for in that state are no sad divisions, unchristian quarrels, contentions, evil designs, weariness, hunger, cold, sadness, sin, suffering, persecutions, toils of duty.
O healthful place where none are sick!
Oh happy land where all are kings!
O holy assembly where all are priests!
How free a state where none are servants except to thee!
Bring me speedily to the land of joy.

Livin on the Edge

Let me set the scene.
I was on edge today. Perhaps it was from the weekend full of high school ministry events that wore me out. Perhaps it's me feeling the weight of my job. Perhaps it's hormones. Whatever it may be, I was on edge. Conversely, my husband was in a playful-bantering mood. Not picking up on my edginess at all.
Bless his heart, he didn't stand a chance.

I tell him what cabinet some seasoning goes in. He places it on the opposite side of the kitchen with a mischievous smile.

I grow irritated

Some other bantering happens that pushes me more to the edge

I grow more irritated and move to a different room

He brings me the glass of water that I left on the table that I didn't want to drink and playfully tells me I need to drink it.

I give death stare.

He responds "If looks could kill, I'd be a dead man right now"

I'm growing sensitive now

He teases me for leaving something else on the table

I'm getting a lump in my throat

He notices I've gone from banter mode to sensitive mode and asks why.

As any girl knows, this only causes more sensitivity. Tears start forming so I hide behind my book.

He notices tears. Tone softens. He comes into room.

This causes me to tear up more and transition to a cry

Austin kindly admits, "I'm not sure what to do with you right now."

Laughter and more tears flowing now.

We begin to talk about what was behind all the emotions. In so doing, Austin makes an observation...

"Do you realize you just went from crying to laughing and back to crying in half a second?!"

My reaction through my tears: laughing.


After some emotional vomiting and some good prayer together, all is at peace in the Conner household. Now that I'm out of the oh-so-familiar-uncontrolled-emotions (girls you know what I'm talking about- husbands you kinda do) I can look back and laugh at the exchange between us. Especially the moment where Austin was humble enough to simply admit that he had no idea what to do with his hormonal wife. To his credit, his response couldn't have been better.

Today

Today I woke up cranky.
No good reason.
Just woke up moody and irritated at the day.
I didn't want to get up.
I didn't want to get dressed and ready.
I didn't want to have a quiet time.
I didn't want to go workout.
I didn't want to go get stuff for the senior high Christmas party tonight.
I didn't want to do anything.
But at the same time I didn't want to do nothing.
Just cranky.

Despite my mood, I sat down in my quiet time chair.
Opened my bible.
Bowed my head to pray.
In my hardness I began to be humbled.
This is not MY day.
This is not MY life.
God has a purpose for my life today or I wouldn't be alive.
I am here to serve the highest king.
I have so so so much to be grateful for.
I get to wake up next to a wonderful man.
I have the things I need to get ready for the day.
I have warmth in my house and food in my fridge.
I can afford a gym that helps me stay healthy.
I have access to the living God who cares enough about me to show me my sin.
I have been given grace in my ungratefulness.
Things aren't so bad after all.
Today is a good day.