Baby Blues

I know the baby blues are normal but today was hard. Well, the first part of the day was great. My sister and her fiance were in town, stayed the night, helped out and let Austin and I get some sleep. They left around noon and we took Adelyn to her doctors appointment. She's now officially 6 pounds 15 ounces! That is one ounce past her birth weight. So we were happy to find out our little gals is growing!

After that though, things went a bit downhill. Austin took Adelyn over to the grandparents house and I opted to come home to take a nap and have some alone time for the first time in almost two weeks. Well the alone time spiraled into a whirlwind of hormones, pity, sadness, and guilt for feeling all these things. I'm well aware that my body is chemically unbalanced right now but that doesn't make the emotions any less real. I've never felt like that before. I've never been one to struggle with depression and I think I am getting a small taste of what someone who is depressed goes though. I'm thankful it's a small taste and that this season will likely pass soon but it is still hard.

When I recognized my thoughts and emotions were spiraling downward I knew I needed to get into the Word. I needed some perspective. Some truth. Some hope. I haven't felt that intense need for the Word of God in a long time. I was thankful to be brought to such a humble place to so desperately need scripture to speak to my heart and mind. My time in the Word in addition to some much needed encouragement from Austin and close friends got me through this afternoon. Then as quickly as the blues came on, they left. I feel like myself again.

I keep thinking back to what a nurse told me in the hospital, "The baby blues are a very real thing..." I kinda blew her off thinking I would be able to navigate my emotions just fine. But I'm realizing that in this season, I really need truth. I need Jesus. I need my husband in a way I never have. I need my family and friends. I need to be vulnerable and real with people and not pretend everything is joyous because I have a newborn we wanted so badly. It's a hard stage but I know it's a season.

I write this post not to get attention or pity from others. I just want to be real about what the first few weeks are like post- baby and to help any expecting mommies out there an idea of what may come in addition to the joys of a new baby. I'm promise I'm doing ok so please don't worry about me (mom!). We are taking things one day at a time around here. Soaking up the precious moments with Adelyn and being a new family. Looking forward to seeing God give me more and more of a heart to be a mother and to falling more and more in love with her.